.

hey,

it's rare for me to write in midday but i've been holding this all night and i'm really in a bad mood

today is holiday and i planned on going home today (suddenly) because my friend will go back to Germany in a week. i haven't seen him before because when he arrived (to our country) i went back to my current town (uni life started).

yesterday my other junior high friend told me that my friend is upset because he's home and nobody is there for him. i know how he feels, he traveled enough from another country just to meet one of his friend but they're not there.

i promised him that i would hang out with him when he's here but the timing was bad.

i told my mom that i wanted to go home
and she didn't let me because my friends here didn't

you can't argue with me without your logic explanation,
so of course, i don't approve that reason.

i told her what's the problem,
i don't and i won't listen if it's because "you're going to go alone to the airport"
i always travel alone and she knows that so why do i need company?
that would not be the first one i'm going to the airport alone.
i'm used to it.

she told me that it's because of traffic
so what's with the traffic? it's reality.
she told me she couldn't pick me up
what's public transportation are for?

i told her that i don't want to loose anymore friend.
because i did over stupid reason.
but she lectured me about me going to meet other people in the future and etc.etc
like i don't know that would happen.
i don't need anymore people because every one of them have disappointed me.
i told her i don't have any uni task and that i really wanted to go home
but she told me that i should just focus on my study and that i couldn't keep in touch with my old friends because they're focusing on their dreams. that's not the problem. i don't go out with them because a lot of reason.

i've told you before that this major i'm studying
is not what i want

so do you think i have one?