Laziness&Complain

Hey guys.

So I'm in my super lazy mode.

I procrastinate a lot today.

I do my uni task half heartedly.

I don't know maybe because I don't like the subject?
I do like it actually... it's just sometimes I don't know what to do? And I can't really get along with my own teammates hu. I know it's all my fault :(( not liking the subject and not really get along. IT IS ALL MY FAULT. And now I'm complaining my own fault.

Lately I've been complaining a lot.
And I know it's bad.

Really bad.
I don't even know since when did it started. Ha.

I'm gonna do another task now.

Night people.

Doubt 2

I'M DOUBTING MYSELF FOR 10000000x TIMES NOW.

I know. Doubting yourself is really bad.
I think I didn't do well in 'knowing who you really are'
Because I don't know about myself.

Maybe it was just me being so stressed up over something,
Maybe I was too doubtful,
I don't believe in myself.
I don't have any confident.

I'd always ask myself,
"Do you really can do it?"
But never told myself,
"I can do it"

I know it's wrong and I should do something.
Even though I know what I should do but never do anything.

I'm being consume with my own feelings.


I should stop writing.
This is too depressing for me.
Maybe I should've find a psychiatrist or something.


Night people.

Test?

Hello,

I've decided to join orchestra in uni.
It's still a new club though.. whatever I'm finally happy to come back playing violin with many people and instruments! :'D

I've yet a member. I'm still a candidate *sob* I hope I pass the test :'
I'm not confident with my self. ah~
Moreover I missed communicate with the committee..
It was my fault for not asking them clearly about the test material.
But thanks to a friend who 'accidentally' told me everything he knew :')
I'm so glad you even asked that for me though you're a saxo player :')

It's getting late and I haven't even get any idea to do uni tasks. huh.

Night people.

Feelings.

Hey.

I actually don't know what title should I type. Because today, my post will be kinda random.

So what's in my mind right now is,

I just realized, whenever I'm in my 'anxiety' state, MY COLORING SKILL LEVEL UP

(I'm sorry. Bad english. I know)
I'm not saying that I have good skill in coloring. (Or maybe I have?)

I like colors. Though my life isn't colorful. I really like coloring since kindergarten. I used to participated in coloring competition a lot. But since coloring category was only for age between 5-10 years old once I hit 11 years I couldn't participated in coloring anymore and I don't really like drawing. So I stopped.

It's not that I don't like drawing, I'm way more enjoy in coloring. So yea.

And I was just thinking, maybe having this feelings is not that bad.

BCS MY COLORING SKILL IS BECOMING ASDAS I don't know. 

It just turned out so nice. And I really like it.

Sure, the feelings always making me hella sad. But then I'll get this power (?) so I don't mind.. lol.

My drawing is not good. But I like my coloring style. ;) (lol. How confident)

Oh and by the way,

I'm playing this game called Mystic Messenger.

I HOPE I GET 707 ROUTE,

BCS HE IS TOTALLY A JERK-CUTIE-PIE.

And I easily attracted to guys with glasses and smart. lol.

Smart is the new sexy. Eh?

Doubt.

Hey how's your day?
Mine was kinda suck. I went out today to downtown but it ruined my mood.

By the way,
Doubt.

I've this feeling recently to my crush because a really long and complicated reason.
I began to doubt him.
Not that I don't trust him. (Well kinda actually)

We've been friend since first year of high school.
I don't want to be too confident or what but I feel like he kinda give me back 'that' signal.
I was happy at first. I really did. (IF YOU HAPPEN TO READ THIS AND KNOW WHO I AM. YES I AM HAPPY) But after that 'long-and-complicated-story' started,
I feel like, sometimes, when we chat, he doesn't feel like himself anymore.

He once asked me on last national holiday.

"Hey, are you coming home?"
"I'm not. Why?"
"Why?? Come home"

I don't know but the tone is half-heartedly.
It doesn't feel like him.
It's not like him.

And why do I feel like that?
You know all of it when you've talked a lot with someone right?
You just have the feelings
You just have the hunch.

And I hope that my hunch is wrong.

Good night people.

My Heart Melt.

I don't know what should I titled this.

So I was looking through instagram because I was really bored.
And I saw my friend posted a picture with his bestfriend (which is a girl, but I bet they like each other)
He's gonna study abroad and he wrote this in his caption.

"Hey, if you ever come,

See you soon in a few years okay. Go get a cumlaude title.
Nah, kidding. Just graduate in time (I would be happy tho if you get one). And wish me luck too.

Because I'm lazy to get back here and the plane's ticket is really expensive I hope you would come here someday. I would be really glad too if you bring me food for my monthly-needs. lol.

G*8*, gate **, C**-A**, * October <- If you have the time, come to the airport, I will wait you there, it's our last meet, please be fast "

HOW LUCKY SHE IS.
I don't know why but I found it really sweet :')
It really touched my heart :')
My heart melt :')
I'm sorry.
I really need to write this. It's really sweet :')))

And let me tell you, he is really kind to everyone.
He has this aura that kinda make you like to be around him.
He is a good and smart leader.
He is a really kind and gentle guy.
Like really kind and cute and sweet in his own way.

I hope you two have a good life.
Have a sweet life.
Wish you all the best the world can give.

And have a good night readers.